Over the next few weeks in this series “Faith Over Fear”, I will be speaking about recent times in my life when I’ve had to trust in God that He would provide and not let me fail in the things He has told me. No matter what I thought, I had to throw that away and trust in His timing alone.
There’s moments that will define our lives every single day. I had one of these moments when COVID first hit. I could have gone down a very depressed and anxious path once again in my life. A year ago I started documenting. I started explaining. I started writing. Most importantly, I started praying and spending time with my Father more than ever before.
A little back story…
As some of you may know, I was born with a rare disease known as Alpha Mannosidosis. It affects every single cell in the body, especially the brain. Later on, I was in a pretty serious car accident and was never diagnosed with a concussion until months later. The most recent challenge was the COVID shutdown and the riots happening. This in turn put me into a very stressed out state (you may also agree). My brain has been through some rough situations which have led to some issues I never imagined to experience. It’s been challenging, but God has been with me in the valley, faithful through the storm, and I owe Him all the Glory for every single thing.
Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.Psalm 23:4 NIV
I have always had various issues growing up with my memory, processing speed, balance, hearing, etc. When the car accident happened, it magnified everything that I experienced and added a few new features of life…daily headaches and blurry eyes. I wasn’t told at first that I had a concussion and continued on with my high school classes. Fast forward to 2020 when things were going crazy in the world in which we all live in. The stress from all of the chaos and not going to my doctor created a huge issue for me…
Quick question before we dive in deep: have you ever been around someone who is drunk? They could be laughing uncontrollably. Maybe they are not walking straight because their balance is off. Or they are super out of it and don’t know what’s down or up. Well friends, my experiences without drinking resulted in me being “drunk”.
This unfortunately went on for quite some time. When I was in this “drunk” feeling I would spend lots of time listening to the Bible and just talking to God. I had a joy about me even though I couldn’t control what I was experiencing. I’ve kind of felt like I was in a movie because what I was going through would totally be something you could find in a movie. You know that girl who doesn’t drink, but somehow acts drunk all the time. It could honestly be a great storyline! As we digress, let’s get back to the story! I am very excited to announce that I have recently made it back to planet earth and not acting drunk anymore (YAY!!).
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trails of many kinds, because you know the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.James 1:2-4 NIV
God has been with me every step of the way and I am so thankful for the journey that I have experienced during the past few months. It has been challenging to say the least, but I am witnessing God’s healing power.
I have been receiving neurofeedback treatment for the past four, almost five years. Due to COVID, the doctor that I would typically see for neurofeedback stopped seeing his patients for a little while. Eventually, he did open back up and start seeing patients again. There was a three month period of me not doing neurofeedback, pushing myself in school, and working a new job. All three of these things set me up for an extremely hard time.
When my doctor came back, he was only seeing patients every other week. I was happy to see him, but the consistency of doing the neurofeedback wasn’t enough. When you are doing neurofeedback, it is best to do it more consistently. Neurofeedback is essentially working on changing the brainwaves, so they are more effective. The waves in my experience do not like changing and when you do it more frequently, they get the memo that they need to change. For the time being I was thankful for being able to see my doctor.
I no longer see the doctor that I have spoken about above. He has since moved out of the area. I now see a new doctor. It took quite awhile to find my new doctor, but through prayer we have gotten here. I am now seeing her very consistently (2x per week) and seeing huge improvements! I am finally not drunk and have made it back to planet earth.
Every time I think about everything I have experienced in the last year and a half, it’s hard to explain what it even felt like. There are no words for feeling drunk when you have never even had a drink. (I’ve always had a deep conviction to not drink). But I do know that my faith has become stronger through this situation that I experienced. I have spent time in prayer, worship, and just speaking to God. I knew that a lot of my questions could only be answered by God; my Father.
From spending so much time connecting and speaking with my Father, I have been able to experience a joy that is not of this world. I have received a peace over everything I have gone through. It is hard in the moment, but when we stay close to God through whatever the situation may be, He will help us through everything.
I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul.Psalm 31:7
Thanks for reading! I am really working to be posting new blogs bi-weekly or even weekly!! If you enjoy reading make sure to give me a like and comment any questions or thoughts! Have a fantastic Labor Day weekend and remember to enjoy the day, God’s way.