A Transformation I Never Imagined…

Hey there! Welcome if you are new & welcome if you’ve been here previously. Some of you may know this, while others may not. May is Mental Health Awareness Month and I thought this would be a great time to share my journey through depression. I will occasionally share this story and of course do not want to overwhelm you with one part of my life. God really took me from the valley and created a whole new person.

*If depression or mental health topics are hard for you to read, just stick around until the end of the next paragraph 🙂

God sees where you are and absolutely adores you. You may not see a way out of the journey you are on, but He does. He sent His one and only son, Jesus to die for all of our sins. He doesn’t want you to suffer. His arms are wide open to you because He loves you oh so much. He has called you by your name ❤

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.

He makes me life down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul.

He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Psalm 23 NIV

A Recent Revelation

2022 –> 3.5 years of knowing God, joyful, life giving, so many wonderful friends
2017 –> suicidal, depressed, anxious, sad, self harm, no friends

He turns graves into gardens. It is amazing to see what He’s done in the past 3.5 years. I am finally stand-in ton my two feet only because of His grace. I am in a season of listening to what He is calling me to. Most recently, He has been waking me up early and putting the desire of reading His Word (aka the Bible) first thing before I do anything else.

How this has happened…

I could go on and on about how this has happened, but to put it plainly it resulted from people who spoke life into me and God moments.

Back in 2017 I was not following God. I thought my life was practically over even though I had just graduated from high school. I was in a season of life that was filled with feeling super lonely and worthless. I refused to take any medication that could help the depression and what I was experiencing.

In 2018, I was still experiencing depression, but it wasn’t as bad as 2017. My friend asked if I wanted to go to church and I said yes. That yes ultimately changed the trajectory of the rest of my life. God met me at that church service by showing me a memory from when I was younger and in the hospital (I had no memory of what I went through). I was hooked and wanted to learn more about this whole christianity thing. I started attending church regularly.

In 2019, God placed Godly women into my life and found the church I call home still to this day. 2019 was the year that the depression and everything else that I was experiencing went away. At first, I didn’t realize the depression had gone away. But it did and I no longer had any thoughts, anxiety, sadness,

Since I have been connected to an amazing community through church, I have grown tremendously. My heart is so full and I am so thankful to where God has placed me. I am working on trusting that His plan is better than mine. In reality, it is. I am so excited to continue sharing what He places on my heart.

In a challenging season??

If you find yourself in a challenging season, lean into Him. He will help you through His Word. His Word is the truth and what we all need to be hearing daily. In His Word, you will find that He sent His one and only son to die for your sins. He loves you so much. This world can be very overwhelming and confusing. When we seek Him, He will help us in every way that we need.

Praise be to the Lord, for he has heard my cry for mercy. The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.

Psalm 28:6-7 NIV

Thanks for stopping by and reading this blog! Make sure to follow Achieve the Impossible Today, so you don’t miss a post. I am working on posting more consistently. If you have any prayer requests, feel free to comment them or contact me. As always, He can and He will help you through everything, we just need to seek Him first.

Depression to Now

Trigger Warning: This post does not go in depth to what I experienced, but may be a trigger for some. It is a story of how God brought me from where I was to where I am today. If you need help, please do not hesitate to reach out to a friend/family or contact the Suicide Hotline at 800-273-8255.

Who Am I?

Four years ago, you wouldn’t be able to recognize me. I look the same, but didn’t think the same. I don’t even recognize me. I am now filled with love, joy, peace, and kindness. It’s been a journey, but God has revealed himself and how good He truly is.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Galatians 5:22-23 NIV

Depression Hit Hard

I was battling depression and wondering if I even deserved to still be alive. I was at a place where I never expected to be. Leading up to this, I was experiencing panic attacks, anxiety, depression, and to top everything off I was loosing my friends. I was at the darkest time ever. I am not going to get into the nitty gritty of what I experienced, but I want to shed the light of how God was always right by my side.

At the time of all of these feelings, I did not have a relationship with God. I grew up Catholic and strayed away. Honestly, I never truly understood God or even knew who He was. I alway thought church was super boring and pointless. If you know me, this thought is very different today!

I didn’t start going to church until a year later, but God was slowly planting seeds. Even thought I felt horrible, I still started college, was super involved, and constantly spent time around people. I did what I always had done, I kept busy and tried not to focus on what I was experiencing.

During my first year of college, I met someone who spoke life into me and was by my side on the worst of my days. He would then go into helping me learn yoga, meditation, essential oils, and the music I was listening to. He helped tremendously during this very crucial time in my life. If it wasn’t for this person, I may not be here today.

side note: I’ve always been against medication (if you are on medication, I am not trying to change your mind. Do what you need!!) and went through everything without the help of medication. My one doctor did not recommend medication due to my complex situation.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Ephesians 6:12 NIV

Our Choices Change Everything

When I was visiting a friend in Virginia Beach during the summer of 2018, she asked if I wanted to go to church with her and her sister. It was okay if I had said no, but I said yes. I wasn’t opposed to the idea, just didn’t think God was necessary for my life. We went to the service and I completely experienced a God moment which in turn kinda scared me. During this moment, He showed me smiling in the hospital when I was younger. This may not be a huge deal for you, but to me this was huge!!! I have no recollection or memory of my childhood and He gave me a little snippet.

I started going to church with the friend who had helped me up until this point. I was trying to understand Christianity and know the God who gave me this little snippet of my life. The more I dived into reading the Bible and growing a relationship with God; the more I knew who my Father was and that He didn’t want me to be in this depression. It was a battle when I was getting closer to Him and doing the things He has called me to do. I believe this was just Satan attacking because He didn’t want me to know the truth.

As time went on, I would have these moments of depression in my life. The more I turned to God, the easier it got for me to fight against the thoughts and feelings. When we know the truth and live with God, He gives us the strength that we need to fight our fleshly desires.

For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.

Ephesians 5:8-11

Changed Forever

Today, I am a person who absolutely loves learning anything about God and I just want to grow closer to Him every single day. I no longer deal with depression. Anxiety is here every now and then, but I know that God will help me through everything in this world we find ourselves in.

I used to not see how God has worked in my life. I am learning new things every single day and He has without a doubt helped me get away from the horrible things that go along with depression and anxiety. I am so happy that I am finally able to share without feeling bad about what I have gone through. I hope my story can help others who may find themselves in a similar situation. Just know that you matter and are loved by God.